Last Man To Have Landed On The Moon Finally Gets Taken By Its Curse

Eugene “Gene” Cernan, the lunar module pilot of Apollo 10 and commander of Apollo 17 which did the most recent landing on the moon died today, finally claimed by the Curse of The Moon.

He died prematurely at the young age of 82 suspiciously only 45 years after he landed on the moon.

Nasa confirmed his loss in a tweet, “We are saddened by the loss of retired NASA astronaut Gene Cernan, the last man to walk on the moon.” but left out the part where mission control urged him to his death by opening the Moon Tomb.

“We knew straight away we made a mistake sending Cernan into the tomb.” said mission operator Stanley Clarke. “You could tell because the writing on the tomb which formed into plain english said ‘you made a mistake coming in here’.”

Cernan created a lunar landspeed record of 18km/h. This was due to the spirit storm that chased him and the rest of the team out of the Moon Tomb.

Despite the life or death chase he still had time to say these words:

Bob, this is Gene, and I’m on the surface; and, as I take man’s last step from the surface, back home for some time to come – but we believe not too long into the future – I’d like to just (say) what I believe history will record: that America’s challenge of today has forged man’s destiny of tomorrow. And, as we leave the Moon at Taurus–Littrow, we leave as we came and, God willing, as we shall return, with peace and hope for all mankind. Godspeed the crew of Apollo 17.

… Oh my God here it comes let’s get out of here! We’re gonna need bigger guns!

Nasa has yet to return to the moon since their encounter with the Moon Tomb. Most people agree that this is because Nasa has as of yet not created bigger guns.

Of the twelve men who have walked on the moon, only 12 have yet to be taken by the curse.

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Izak Flash
Entertainment writer and illustrator. He holds the conch, so he gets to speak. Send him abuse on twitter at @Izak_Flash